Porn is love you can see.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
