so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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