I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
