New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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