I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
