I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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