just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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