walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
