I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
