We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize