So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
