Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
