WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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