Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
