We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
