We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
