Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
