The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
