Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
