Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
