The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
