What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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