I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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