Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
