Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
