she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
