I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
