You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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