wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
