i love accidental penises.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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