Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
