***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
