So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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