honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
