He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
