Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
