I'll bet she douches with gravy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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