You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
