saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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