If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
