HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
