TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
