Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
