And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
