No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
