if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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