Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
