i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
