We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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