Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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