omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
God, I missed his penis.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
