GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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