How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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