they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
