hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
